GARAGE GUYS
By Duncan
In or around 2013, I wanted to live in Florida. As I have said before, I was sitting on the ninth floor of a resort overlooking the Atlantic Ocean. I had a conversation with myself and said to myself, “Why can’t I live like this every day?” And I answered myself, “You can; all you have to do is decide. Decide if this is what you want for your life.”
Was it a dream or a predisposition that I would move to Florida? A lot of my indoctrination as a young, impressionable mind taught me that my entire life was already written in a book somewhere. “It’s in the Book.” The question I ask myself now is, “What book? Where is this “Book?” Can I look at the last few pages of the “Book?”
I guess there is a “Book” somewhere. My parents repeatedly told me that there is a “Book.” The story of my life is already written.” The story about this “Book” continued through my adolescent grooming. I would not see this “Book” until my last dying breath. Does anybody else subscribe to this line of thinking? My life is already planned, and I’m simply following a blueprint.
Okay, enough about my Baptist upbringing. I moved to Florida in 2014. I did my research and looked at several places that would work. Like many people, I looked at “The Villages” and was impressed.
But after thinking about my priorities, I decided I needed to live as close to the water and as far south as I could afford—The Villages are smack-dab in the middle of Florida. That didn’t seem like where I wanted or needed to be. “What does the book say?” (Excuse my sarcasm.)
STEVE SANER - REALTOR:
I contacted a Realtor for a little help. Steve Saner told me that if I lived in southwest Florida, I needed to live west of Highway I-75 (the major north-south interstate) and, if I could afford it, as close to Highway 41 as possible.
He showed me about eight homes, and I started to get cold feet. I didn’t like anything I had seen. Then, the next morning, we met for breakfast, and Steve said I’m going to take you to a new subdivision called Magnolia Landing in North Fort Myers.
I wasn’t expecting much, and I had no expectations of finding anything I could or would commit to. We began by visiting the D. R. Horton’s model home. (Wow, this is impressive.) Then, I discovered no homes were available for sale now. The ones they were building would not be ready for 60-90 days.
While chatting with the Magnolia Landing sales guy (Derrick Deans), a female foreman in blue jeans came out of a back room. She explained to Derrick that the home on Castle Pines Court was available. Derrick said, “No, it’s not; I sold that house.” The female foreman told Derrick, “The people you sold it to backed out last night.”
DERRICK DEANS - D.R. HORTON SALESMAN
Derrick took about fifteen seconds to process the loss of a sale. Then he turned and, with a forced smile, said,
“I have a home you are just going to love.”
Having been in the mortgage loan business for 30+ years, I have dealt with Realtors most of my life. Watching a Realtor lose a sale right before my eyes was an interesting experience. We were transported to the home in question by a golf cart to take a look.
Needless to say, was this home in the “Book” of life? This home was chosen for me? Moving is an expensive proposition. With 1200 miles between Indianapolis and North Fort Myers, some planning is required.
Learning about a new community when you don’t know anyone is an interesting experience, too. Who lives next door? Will I have the neighbors from hell? Will we get along in this new uncharted territory?
As time passed and I got to know a few people, I was invited to “Garage Guys.” Of course, I had to ask what a “Garage Guys” is. As best as I could understand, it’s a group of men who live in Magnolia Landing. They get together on Wednesday afternoon at about 4:00 PM, drink beer, hard liquor, and Fireball, tell off-color jokes, and chat.
I bring a lawn chair and my beverage of choice and enjoy the company of the men who come to this gathering. Magnolia Landing had about 300 homes when I moved. With about 30 guys at “Garage Guys,” this means about 10% of the men who live in the community come to Garage Guys. Well, it turns out this is a great idea for any community. You get to know your neighbors.
For five years, I attended Garage Guys. I even got to tell a few jokes and stories myself. Let me tell you this story.
I had my father with me. His name was George. He was in his middle 90s and still in fair health. He wanted his supper every night at 6:00 PM. He would get impatient if his supper was late. Wednesdays were “Garage Guys” and occasionally went past 6:00 PM. I came home one night, and I was a little late.
Dad was eating pancakes at that time because they were easy to chew. So, as I started his pancakes, I realized I was out of milk. I noticed a full jug of Fireball on the kitchen counter. I thought I could use water, but that wouldn’t be very tasty, so I used Fireball in his pancakes.
I served his pancakes and waited for a reaction. I didn’t get a reaction. I asked him if his supper was okay. He shook his head up and down.
He finished his pancakes and seemed content. I never got a reaction out of him. I told the guys at “Garage Guys” the following week about the Fireball pancakes.
I got several reactions. “No, you didn’t!” was the most common reaction. At “Garage Guys,” several guys approached me the following week and whispered in my ear.
“You know, I gave Fireball a try this week. Fireball pancakes are pretty good.”
Just call me Chef Extraordinaire La-Duncan. Here we are, almost five years later. My host, Tom Morookian, is excited about me going to “Garage Guys” again, and I was told to prepare a few jokes or stories.
I’m unsure if I can share my jokes on this forum, for they may be considered a little risque. But it was fun being back for a few days in Magnolia Landing at “Garage Guys.”
