I-PHONE OR ANDROID

By Duncan

JIM - RALPH - DUNCAN - KEY WEST - FRIENDS - THE MOTORCYCLE DAYS.  

Have you noticed we have all become slaves? Slaves to our cell phones. Of course, you have, and you have the damn thing in our hand or close by, don’t you? I know, I do. 

In this new world of instant communication, it’s important to have as many friends as possible. 

That’s what is preached in this “new world.” Don’t you dare be out of touch with the hundreds of social media groups you belong to. You stay connected by texting, Facebook, and Instagram. 

We are nobody unless we have 300 - 500 - 1,000 friends. The evidence is there; we are popular. Are we wanting to be Stars, or Celebrities, which gives us some crazy value? The phone makes a noise, a chime, a ring. We let the phone lay for a few minutes before it’s picked up. We do let it lay there, right? Sure we do.

Yes, it’s a text message coming in just for you, just for me. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter/X is wanting your attention and wanting it right now. Sadly, we all have become slaves to the phone, just like Pavlov’s Dog. Yes, admit it, when the bell goes off, no matter what we are doing, we reach for the phone. It’s called instant gratification. I’m needed, I'm loved.  

Pavlov noticed just before he offered food to his dog, the dog started salivating. Pavlov decided to try an experiment. He presented food to his dog and rang a bell. Over and over he presented food to the dog and rang a bell. Then, he simply ran the bell, there was no food, and he noticed the dog started salivating. Sound familiar? The bell goes off on our cell phones and we all start salivating. We are slaves to our phones. 

IVAN PAVLOV

Okay, I hear you saying, “What’s the point? You write this blog, and you expect people to read it; you're just as guilty as the rest of us. That, my friend, is a valid criticism. But, you’re forgetting something, my mommy told me “I” was special.  

I started thinking, how many real friends do I have? Not “Social Media Friends.” Personal and Very Close Friends. People I talk to, people I have lunch with. People I see face-to-face and spend time with. 

I think it has been said that if we have three (3) good friends in our life we are very lucky. 

Of course, I can challenge these numbers and check with Google and see what Google says.   

“Google, How many close friends does a person have in life?”  

Almost half (49%) report having three (3) or fewer close friends. Over one third (36%) report having between four (4) to nine (9) close friends. Then thirteen (13) percent say they have ten (10) or more close friends. 

As I age, I begin to realize the value of friendship. The experts tell us that the lack of friends increases our risks for anxiety, depression, and trauma. In short, good friends are good for us. 

So, after a little self-diagnosis, I decided it was time to bail on Facebook, Twitter, and all the other Social Programs. And start having lunch face to face with my friends. I simply turned off social media. I didn’t realize it was going to be difficult. These Social Programs don’t want you to leave. They make it tough for us to cut and run.   

Why give up social media? Look, I need to say, I’m not giving advice here. This is me, trying to evaluate what I want to do with the rest of my life. There is a point when I’ve got to separate the wheat from the chaff. I had to realize the list on Facebook, Etc, was mostly dormant. This facebook “thing” is not it’s cracked up to be.  

Google says 27% of the Gmail sent are ever opened. 

Mail Chimp says the email open rate for all emails they send is 21%. 

Facebook admits that most pages only reach about 6% of their total fans. 

Then I applied a different strategy to my culling. If I were in a pinch, and needed a hundred dollars, who would lend me the money no questions asked. Feel free to send me an email if you would lend me $100.00 no questions asked. I promise I will open 100% of those emails.  

If I die, who would come to my funeral? Will the 300-500-1,000 Facebook friends come? If I believe the numbers, only 6%, 21%, or 27% would ever know I died. So who or what are all these well-meaning acquaintances on Social Media? 

There are times I wish I had a Facebook account to check on someone. To see if a long-lost friend was still alive or where they were working. What I decided to do was focus on my personal contact list. I realized I wanted to focus on my friends. Forget about the numbers; tell a story, which I enjoy doing, and simply be myself.  

Is my contact list big? I don’t know, I thought so at first. But then I started looking at the contacts. There were plumbers, construction types, business associates, my health care staff at the VA, dentists, and the like. In other words, lots of “Service Providers.”  

So I took Service Provider off the “Personal and Very Close Friend list.” Then, who was left?  

Friends and acquaintances. Yes, people I have met and liked and interfaced with at some point in my life. But are they part of what I like to call “My Personal and Very Close Friends?” It’s a tough call at this point. So, if you are receiving notice of my story-telling and my charming chit-chat, you can consider yourself one of my Personal and Very Close Friends.   

However, I know that only about 20% of you will ever see this story.