ARSENIC

ARSENIC 

By Duncan

Arsenic is synonymous with poison. A substance that can inadvertently lead to fatal consequences. Whether by accident or by design, the potential for arsenic to slip into a vessel of wine and cause death is a stark reminder you can’t be too careful.  

The early Chinese, Greeks, and Egyptians discovered arsenic when the earth's geological crust moved. The compound arsenic was also found after volcanic eruptions. In both cases, the heat from volcanic eruptions and tectonic plate movement created an arsenic compound.  

It was soon discovered that if you grind up this rock, it could be a silent killer. Just slip the powder into a cup of wine and “dirt nap” for one of your dearest friends.  

One of the first recorded uses of arsenic as a killer was with Attila, also known as Attila the Hun. Attila was a heathenistic, ruthless, powerful military leader driven by ego and a thirst for power who could foster multiple tribes of warriors to create vast armies. He and his merry men raped and pillaged most of Europe. Rome was his last big conquest. 

As powerful as he was, as many battles as he won, he died at the hands of women on his wedding night in 453 CE. His young, beautiful bride, Ildico, is his latest “want.” However, Attila didn’t know she was “getting it on” with Marcian, a rival Emperor to the East. Tell me it’s not true!

There was a plan afoot. The wedding celebration was a grand affair with lots of food and even more drink. The drinking that night was excessive. Attila “tied one on,” and in the process of being in a drunken stupor, it’s believed he was slipped a “Mickey Finn.” 

Of course, the term “Mickey Finn” wasn’t used until (1896-1903) when a bartender in Chicago by the name of Michael Finn was caught drugging and robbing his customers. But I digress. 

In reality, throughout history, it was a common practice to slip arsenic into a cup of wine and kill someone you didn’t want to continue to breathe your air.        

After the drunken wedding party, the palace guards were looking for Attila. The next morning, they burst into Attila’s bed chambers and found him dead in his bed. 

His new bride is weeping over his body. The guards looked for wounds, but there were none. (Hum?) After closer examination, they believed Attila had hemorrhaged through his nose and choked on his own blood.  

You can believe whatever you want, but the palace guards tried to hide the fact that Attila was dead. Now, why would they do that? There are other reports that Attila died of alcohol poisoning. 

Okay, we now have two different explanations for Attila's death. The only alcohol during that time was wine. It is also believed by some that his death was murder, and again, the guards attempted to cover that up, too. 

Because wine laced with arsenic was such a common way to kill people in the “Graeco-Roman period,” another custom arose. Important people had a wine taster. 

The wine taster would sample the wine; if it was safe, the important person could feel comfortable drinking the homemade wine. One can’t be too careful.

Can you imagine applying for a wine-tasting job? Read the fine print.    

Warriors from different tribes began to shake hands as we became more civilized. As two men look deep into their eyes, this gesture means I’m letting you know I don’t have a weapon. This silent gesture, as two men held arms or hands, assured the other, “I will not be sticking a knife in your belly.” I have nothing up my sleeve. 

Putting a shiv into someone without being seen was impossible, with so many people watching. And who wants to be caught murdering a competing warrior of another tribe in broad daylight? That could start a war. But in reality, they still want the SOB dead. So it’s back to the silent killer, arsenic.

Another custom began. As one Emperor offered another Emperor from a different tribe a cup of his homemade wine, the host Emperor took the guest's cup and poured a small amount of his wine into his guest’s cup. This gesture was to prove the wine was free of poison. 

Over time, the practice of extending good wishes along with a cup of wine became a tradition. The wine of that era was quite acidic (sour or sharp), so a small piece of seasoned bread was added to the cup to help reduce the acidity of the wine. This made the wine more enjoyable.

One of the first written accounts of it was in Shakespeare’s The Merry Wives of Windsor, when the character of Falstaff demands, 

“Go fetch me a quart of sack; put a toast in’t.” 

You see where I’m going with this, right? The word "toast," or “toasting,” takes on more meaning when we consider its origins. When we raise our glasses to toast good health, long life, or to celebrate, it is believed that this tradition relates to placing a piece of burnt toast in a cup or glass of wine. We hold our stemmed glasses in the air and clink them together to symbolically bring our glasses of wine together, reassuring each other that the drink is safe and not poisoned. 

As we approach the holiday season, a glass or two of wine may be raised in your home. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year will be celebrated. “Toasts” will be offered. I want to add one of my favorite toast, which I learned from the Irish. 

"May those who love us love us, and for those who don't love us, may God turn their hearts, and if He can't turn their hearts, may He turn their ankles so we may know them by their limping."